Posted by
hwalker on Thursday, March 06, 2008 2:23:14 PM
A recent phenomenon has developed since the original Super Tuesday in February when it became apparent John McCain had a lock on the republican nomination. It is a phenomenon born of the “wasted vote” syndrome in which voters in states post-Super Tuesday whose lousy state parties decided to graciously wait their turn rather than scramble towards the front of the line (an event known as “front loading”) ask themselves “do I vote my conscience, or do I vote strategically?” In the case of this year’s candidates, this is a question only republicans ask themselves as they wonder if voting Ron Paul will really send a message to the party, or if registering democrat will accomplish a bigger purpose.
Republicans have only two ways to fall, left or lefter, and how they choose which way to vote appears to be somewhat of an unknown. As we observe the aftermath of the second Super Tuesday in which Hillary secured the ever-illusive Texas and the previously thought lost, Ohio we begin to solve our mystery little by little. It is pretty clear that old Hills owes her wins to a vast right-wing conspiracy, spear headed by non other than Rush Limbaugh. He encouraged his listeners to vote for Clinton with the thought that McCain had a better shot against her. As previously stated a few columns ago, I tend to agree. A risky move, but logical strategery non-the less. So the question remains: Who are these so-called republicans who are supporting Obama? And who came up with the cheesy contraction Obamacans? Well, it just so happens that I have secured an interview with one alleged Obamacan, from whom I will attempt to extract an answer.
*Interviewee wishes to remain anonymous for political reasons.
Q: Thank you for joining us on the blog today. Are you perfectly comfortable?
A: I’m somewhat comfortable, however perfectly is really too precise of a term for me to be entirely at ease…
Q: Uhh…Ok. Moving on. Do you prefer the term Obama-can or Obama-con? Not to be so specific or anything…
A. Oh, Obama-can for sure. It’s much more inclusive, and you know, unifying. Obama-con implies only one faction of the party, where as Obama-can implies a greater segment of the population. Yes, unifying and inclusive, I much, much prefer Obama-can.
Q: Alright, alright, that makes sense. So you asked to remain anonymous for this interview for political reasons. Have you encountered hostility since you converted?
A: Oh well, you know, you can’t please everybody man. But I don’t let it harsh my vibes, I just turn the other cheek. Doubters make themselves look like fools without any help from me.
Q: That may have worked well for you so far, but critics of Obama have some very valid points. For example, just how does he plan to handle foreign relations? Or boost the economy for that matter?
A: Well, the way I see it is if he can inspire a nation to voting him as the Chief Enchilada, he ought to be able inspire the economy to boom. With him in office, I have hope for the world. Like he said it: "We can have great plans, but if we don't change how the politics is working in Washington, then neither of our plans are going to happen!"
Q: Hmm… Well, we seem to be running out of time, so I’ll wrap with this up with one last question: Why Obama and not Hillary?
A: Well, Hillary, she’s pretty scary. She wants to socialize health care and everything, and she plans on ending the war and pulling the troops out of Iraq and I just can’t get on that nut-wagon. But Obama, now he wants to change things for the better. He wants to bring hope over the horizon and make it high noon. You can’t disagree with that! And neither can I. That’s why I proudly call myself an Obamacan.
Q: Well, this has been very enlightening! I feel light-headed already! Once again thank you for joining us on “From the Mouths of Babes.”
A: Hey, your welcome. I am very glad to have been given the opportunity to shed the light of understanding on the Obamacan conundrum. It has been a pleasure furthering the message of hope, unity and above all, Change!
If you have a question for our resident Obamacan, please comment on this blog, and they will be submitted for review and possibly posted in a followup blog.
Disclaimer: Not to be taken seriously under any circumstances and definitely not to be quoted with confidant authority when under the influence of alcohol.