Posted by
hwalker on Thursday, May 15, 2008 6:17:51 PM
Only five short days from now brings us the Oregon primaries. Our friendly neighbor and source of large and expensive tax-free electronic devices is enjoying the phrase "and the last shall be first" this month. That is if you discount the republican primaries, and I challenge you to find me an Oregonion who doesn't. Yes, we are still in primary season! I know its somewhat confusing since Hillary is constantly stealing republican rhetoric to win big and important states, and Rush and Ann keep telling us to defect and vote for her. All of this would make it seem like we were actually in the general election, Hillary made it past Minneapolis-Saint Paul, Obama breezed through Denver and somebody forgot to tell McLame (McCain, for those of you who skipped my last blog) it was all over. Although his actions of late could simply be misconstrued as pulling an Al Gore. He's in line for the next Nobel Peace Prize if he keeps things up.
But no, we are still in the primary season and as far as I am concerned it's a pretty good thing the Democrats made all those rules about front loading. For the last four months the two Democratic candidates have done a lot of the heavy lifting for us, and we should be very grateful. Let's admit it people. McLame was not our first choice. He was nominated on a fluke, largely due to front loading since he couldn't feasably pretend to be a conservative for longer than the two weeks or so it took to get him ahead in the delagate count, and also because of those pesky independants in Florida who got tired of hearing Guiliani's voice. Remember Guiliani? While it's pretty likely McLame could have won over the country with his youth, good looks and charm, it's much more effective to have Obama torn limb from limb by Hillary. She's used to dirty work and she's easier on the eyes...something I never imagined I would be forced to concede...
Which reminds me. Four months ago we were all pretty gung hoe about this presidential election thing. Some mud was slung, policy issues avoided, scandals created. But the well of happiness dried up. We got bored. Tired even. Our collective blood sugar got low and things got nasty. Hillary cried, Barrack forgot he was supposed to denounce his pastor. Ask yourself, what would the last season have been like if the general campaign had started? It doesn't matter who ended up in the ring with McLame, I'm not sure his heart could have handled it. Hillary crying? Forget it! Barrack responded like the little brother who pulled her pigtails, absolutely no remorse. Barrack forgetting about that pastor, and then having to talk about race? McLame would have succumbed to white guilt. But not Hillary, oh no, she just got a sassy new hair cut. Thanks to the Dems, McLame has had the opportunity to cruise around the country, building up his noble image, and will only have to fight the good fight for a couple of months before the big day. He is even taking this opportunity to pay back his debt to the liberals in advance by sacraficing votes at the alter of global warming!
All in all, I think it worked out to our advantage that Oregon's vote is actually going to mean something. It will be a good experience for them! Think back, way back, to when you cast your own vote. I remember the day I excitedly tore open that envelope, perused the players, confidantly checked off "Ron Paul," signed the bottom with a flourish, and then hastily tried to change it to "Virgil Walker" when I realized I got our ballots mixed up and then went through the whole process again with my own ballot! It was a good day. I felt like I was truly part of something bigger. So, Oregonians, Kentuckians, Idahoians, etc: The last shall be first! Enjoy the moment, because it is highly unlikely it will occur again, ever!